Well, if anyone noticted, i've deleted every poem from the site like I had threatened to before.

I've done it pretty much for the same reasons i've stated previously, my style has changed and improved, and I don't want my old work representing me here.

I won't put any of my new things here because I am currently persuing publishing and I don't feel comfortable putting my work out here in the open.

As my trend has been of late, I won't really be using DA anymore except to put up the occasional writing that isn't a poem.

Aside from all that jazz, school is keeping me busy as per usual, speaking of which, my philosophy book needs attention.

How's everyone doing?

Taken from: ~Digitaldoggie



If you reply to my journal:
1. I'll respond with something random about you.
2. I'll tell you what song/movie reminds me of you.
3. I'll pick a flavor of jello to wrestle with you in.
4. I'll say something that only makes sense to you and me.
5. I'll tell you my first/clearest memory of you.
6. I'll tell you what animal you remind me of.
7. I'll ask you something that i've always wondered about you.
8. You MUST put this into your journal.

I'm not sure exactly what to call this year, bad things have happened, but good things too.

The pressure to become an "adult" has definitely upped, with that of turning 18 and needing more than ever to learn how to drive (among other domestic things I still don't have a handle on)

But that is not always a bad thing, I feel I know what I want and need to do now, as I am working towards becoming more independant.

This year has been really hard on my Family as a whole, finacially has been on a low, and stress on a high. My Mom was sick for this entire year and still is, but thank God, she is better than before.

Moving to this area hasn't been good for us in many ways, one thing after another has gone wrong. But at least both me and my brother are enjoying our school environment.

Despite the feeling of alienation here, I have been able to meet some very nice people, whom I will always treasure.

Adam, somehow has become strangley more part of our lives. I guess the best description would be his "A lost puppy we fed and now won't go away" lol. Somehow we are driven to help him, he's such a nice person, it can't be helped.

Even though we didn't get to go to Hajj once again, we did travel to some other exciting places, like San Fransisco (God, I loved it there. That's my dream home now)

And after this recent trip to Texas, I feel finally my Mom's family is begining to accept us, and maybe, hopefully, we can become closer.

This has certainly been a year of growing, struggling, and creating new goals/dreams, and hard as it's been, I wouldn't trade a moment.

There's been so much silence here lately, a strange uneasy silence that has worried itself into place through nervousness and waiting.

Waiting.

Waiting for phone calls
Waiting for answers
Waiting for anxiety to replaced by excitement

And none of it happening.

For the second year in a row, we have not been able to go to Hajj again.

There is so much to say about that, and yet I cannot will the words to my fingertips, except perhaps a lowly uttered curse at the Saudi goverment, who in the mighter-than-everyone mentatlity, has given us all (meaning every single person and group we've spoken to) trouble again. (Hint: We didn't recieve our visa's till the DAY we were "supposed" to leave. And never got our tickets)

Last year I felt hesitation, this year I really thought we were going, so much for that.

I've been very restless today, again, for the lack of things to do and not knowing how quite to feel.

So I unpacked, and repacked, for we are going to Texas tomorrow, and read a little.

I gave into the silence and disapeared between the thin pages of my book, though all to soon the restless waves within choked on the stillness dragging me back to reality in the form of a lazy cat rolling on the bed I was leaning against. I laid the book down and pushed myself onto the bed to curl around my cat, uttering softly, "Hi, baby," words not unusual, but this time it was not for his sake but mine. For having not heard a voice in a awhile, I needed the reassurence of sound, and that my own voice had not been stolen by the silence.

Since I've become part of an actual poetry writing class, and I think, have improved on the craft; I've come to heavily dislike many of the things I have here on my site.

So, I'm probably going to go through and delete a lot of my old poetry and anything else I'm not too happy with. Or I just may move it all to scraps.

I've been thinking about posting some of my new poetry, but since I'm trying to get some of it published currently, and the dangers of the copyrights that come with it, it would be best if I didn't. However if anyone wants to see what I've been up to, feel free to note me or leave a comment.

Other than that, my 5-course load at college has been keeping me very busy, and now finals are coming up along with the impending pilgramage, so things are becoming a tight and hectic space, eeugh.

I plan to keep a journal on my travels, I bought one today in fact for that purpose, so yay fo that ^_^.

Hmm, I think that's about it. *waves to everyone*

How are ya'll doing?